Sometimes the hardest part about ministry is pretending everything is fine when it isn’t.

You may not realize this, but many church workers (pastors, teachers, deaconesses, DCEs) and their families sometimes feel alone, isolated or discouraged. If you’re not sure if you should tell anyone or where to turn, you’re not alone. In fact, you’re why we’re here.

It would be fantastic if serving in ministry meant you could always count on feeling happy, stable and whole.

In our experience, life just don’t work that way, and the burden of others’ expectations (real or imagined) can make coping even harder.

The fact is life challenges like grief, depression, burnout, or marital strife won’t pass you over because you’re a church worker. Church workers sometimes deal with crumbling marriages, like other couples, maybe even as you counsel other couples or preach about Godly marriage. Or as you stay up late (again) working on lesson plans, when you know you just need a breather.

A Special Note to Pastors’ Wives

We know that the life of a pastor’s wife can be challenging. Few people understand how lonely it can be to face such scrutiny on your family. And no matter how much you appreciate being part of your husband’s ministry, it can make it harder to form genuine, supportive relationships in your congregation.

Even if people aren’t outright mean (though you’ve probably dealt with that), people often feel like they need to put on a front for you. They don’t understand that you simply want to know them. This can be hard when you have privileged knowledge about their personal lives.

Plus, ministry can put a strain on any marriage. It’s hard to set boundaries and prioritize your marriage when you and your husband feel like you carry the burdens of an entire community on your shoulders. This can feel especially wearing when the same community brings you criticisms, some founded but much of it not.

The church worker care team is here for you, too. If you just need to talk or would like guidance for a larger issue, our services are completely confidential and free of charge.